When I meet foreigners abroad I often get asked about the languages of New Zealand. Aside from the painfully cringeworthy “what language do you speak in New Zealand?” and compliments on how well I speak English (!), people often want to know if the way we talk in New Zealand is very different to other English-speaking countries. And the truth is, it is – kiwi slang is unique.

I can understand the curiosity. We generally only ever hear about American English and British English as the two standard forms of English. But did you know there are 54 countries which use English as an official language. What about all these other varieties of English? How do we speak?

Today I’m only going to educate you on kiwi slang, as it is obviously what I am most familiar with. Maybe you’re…