Nero the ‘SPLAT’ Cat

Honest to God, sometimes I don’t understand the mind of a cat, they do the daftest things one could imagine.

We’ve had Nero since the end of April, making him 16 mths old. He is one of those cats who loves tummy rubs, insists on a morning cuddle and is starting to enjoy going outside to play with the neighbour’s cats. Not that they necessarily want him to play.

On Sunday we went shopping and I remembered to buy him a collar. It was a lovely bright blue colour with a bell. The first thing we did was take the bell off. Nero hates noises like that. My darling husband warned me to put on gloves and long sleeves due to a cat who hates being handled unless he’s ready. Strangely enough, without gloves or long sleeves, I was able to put the collar on him without any issue.

Now the fun starts.

He started itching and scratching straight away. I suppose most cats would for a while. I remember our cat Sylvia who was Queen of our street removed and lost at least four collars, we gave u in the end. Sadly she also lost her when she was about eight years old. Never did find her again.

Anyway, I’m sure many of you have seen a cat race around your home (presuming you have a cat) like a bat out of hell. This is where ‘SPLAT’ Cat comes in. I was laughing so hard at his antics.

It was a warm day, the reach slider glass door was wide open along with the net curtain, a bloody good job it was. Nero can tearing out of the hallway, around the side of the couch and if the glass door has been shut he would’ve gone SPLAT and probably hurt himself. (I’m sure you’ve seen Tom for Tom and Gerry hit a wall or even the wolf chasing Roadrunner…lol) That was how fast he was going. So, there he was racing towards the door, leaping outside missing the top step, body in the air in the SPLAT position, paws out as if he was about to smack into something. His body twitched…as I mentioned I was laughing so hard I didn’t see him land or disappear. He came in later and settled down for the night, still not liking his collar.

Next morning I saw him sitting in front of me, scratching the collar, looking puzzled.
NERO: Mom what the hell is this around my neck?
ME: It’s to let people know you have a home and you aren’t a wild cat.
NERO: It’s horrible. I don’t like it.
ME: Tough.
NERO: This bit is a pain.
ME: *Rollseyes* Collars are always a bit too long.
ME: Fine, I’ll trim it then. *chopped off with scissors*
NERO: Thanks, Mum – he grins and goes to feed

Later on Monday, I caught sight of him. The part I’d cut has been shredded, it was starting to look more like a scarf with tassels. Somehow he managed to get it off his neck. I was praying we’d not got another Sylvia. Bah Humbug. Guess who had to trim it again and get it back on him. Yep…Moi. I made it a bit tighter, he went back to scratching. No worries I thought and took a few images trying to show the collar. He slept through the night and went outside for some of the day playing with a ginger cat. By the time he was home, the collar looked more like a damn cravat, all pulled apart, hanging nicely. I knew this wasn’t going to last much longer.

Three days and $6.50. Gone, ruined…probably under the sofa where he was playing and we are back to no collar again.

I must remember to buy a leather one next time and see how long it lasts. He looked so cute with a blue-collar. Never mind at least he’s not racing around like a looney and not more SPLAT episodes.

Below are a few images in of NERO with his Blue Collar…

UPDATE ON CARDBOARD BOX – Nero does still tear pieces off at times, though apparently, he’s also found it comfortable to sleep on as seen in the image below.


Last, be not least. Nero decided he wanted to sleep on my laptop…and do some writing… Oh, the pain of the words…Will he ever be published? I suppose we’ll have to wait and see. Images in a slideshow, showing Nero waiting for tummy rubs and cuddles.

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