Negative Actions and Depression – Part Two

Actions Speak Louder than Words? NOPE

I’ve always known Actions and Words can hurt. Bullying is sadly still as strong today (though different) as when I was growing up. It’s not something you notice forty years ago, not to the extent it is now. You were expected to be strong and get over it. Some people still say this or make a bad joke out of a situation. Nobody ever helped me through being bullied. I was generally smiling in those days. Even if I was a bit broken underneath. It wasn’t something I understood at the time. The common comment if someone physically attacked you was ‘hit them harder than they hit you and they won’t touch you again.’ 

Personally I don’t think Actions speak louder than Words. I think they are about the same, just used in different ways and not always in a positive directions. I tend to be a calm person, kind to others, helpful and put my cheerful face on. This is the one which can be fake for many with mental health issues. I smile because it is better than crying. It is a rare event to find me teary these days, unless I’m in the UK where tears seem to hit frequently last time I was there. Mind I mentioned that in my last post.
14.55 (2)The last time I remember crying is about three days prior to my baby daughter passing away due to to many congenital defects. I went out for a walk, little money on my bankcard, the Auckland Domain was busy and nobody seemed to notice how upset I was. I had a coffee then left the café and sat on the grass where I cried quietly, tears running down my face, knowing our daughter would be leaving us to become an angel to watch over us. I didn’t want her to go. I wanted someone to talk to, nobody came. everyone was to busy. I was on my own. My husband was looking after our other children, though we managed to fly him up on the morning Anastasia passed over. She died in his arms. Even now, nineteen year later, I can’t believe she has gone. She was a beautiful baby and taught us so much during the time she was here.
The next time I cried was after her burial. I had literally switched off my emotions, I did it so well, it is probably why I don’t cry so often anymore. Anyway, I remember taking the children to the swimming pool (ACTION) that afternoon and I sat in the spa pool in a corner and cried while my husband and a few other adults watched the children play. It was better to see them happy than sad. This is also when my anxiety and depression kicked in fully, though I didn’t recognise it for what it was until a few years later.

I tend to get off track. I do remember a lot of action and words during these years. I have a mind which if triggered, it over things everything for days. Lack of sleep is something I’ve suffered from for years. I can’t even blame my kids, though I’m sure as a parent, this is when it starts.

I grew up learning to help others, doing voluntary work, helping my mum put of posters for the history society, doing a paper round to earn some pocket money. Most of my childhood was fun and filled with cycle rides down country roads, playing cricket on the school grounds, going carol singing at Christmas. I went to church, sang on stage, in my late teens i joined a theatre group and we did a few musicals.
Behind the scenes of life were the actionable bullying, be it kids from school or my sister. I don’t recall having many issues with my brother, though like all siblings I’m sure we fought at times.

Needless to say, do actions really speak louder than words? I don’t think they do. Words can be hurtful and push you to the edge the same as seeing a comment on social media from someone you know. Nobody is positive 100% of the time. Reminding a friend in person or private chat is far better than announcing it to the world in a social media group, none of us know how close to the edge a person is with their mental health. I have had to breakdowns due to others and life situations. They aren’t nice at all, and the worst of it. Both incidents were brought on by friends, both in actions (how they spoke to me in person) and what they actually did. This is now why I trigger so much easier and have anxiety. Then came covid, within months of me returning to New Zealand, which also didn’t help, nor did changing where we lived. I’ve lost contact with a lot of old friends in the area and due to one thing or another, I don’t really see any of them and some don’t seem to be interested in re-connecting either. I do leave messages at times, so it isn’t all on me. As for family here. Not heard a peep out of most of them in the last two and a half years.

In the publishing world, I’ve assisted many authors and writers with various information. Many have never said thank you, several others have technically scammed me. Now that did hurt. You help make sure three books an author has published won’t get you sued due to copyright infringement and help them with a fourth which they have to pay for. Then you’re waiting on book five which your contractor is working on and it suddenly appears to be published. WHAT THE HELL… Apparently, I didn’t do much and I was to expensive. I beg to differ, especially with the amount of time I wasted on them. This was from an author who I did FREE work for. They never contacted me, which is what upset me more than anything. Lesson learnt. I don’t do FREE work for anyone anymore. I’m worth more than that. As I say to people…You pay your plumber, then pay me for work done. This particular author is now blocked on social media. Talk about action speaking as loud as words…

Due to all this one of my main phrases I use is ‘Are you sure.’ This links back to my insecurity and when people help me. Their usual reply ‘If I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t ask.’ I need to remind myself to stop and realise this. It’s been difficult to move through this.
I may be quiet, though it doesn’t mean I’m not helping someone somewhere or having a few moments to myself. We all need to be more respectful of each other. We all fail at this at some time or other. Stop with the negative actions and words, be nice. We are humans first. Everything else is learnt behaviours from those around us. Value each others opinions, even if you don’t agree with them. It is their choice, not yours.

Then I found this, my friend/sister posted this on Facebook. It’s a preview of a story written by an up and coming author who has given permission to share. We will learn more about this new author at a later date. Anyway, this post resonates with me and what I’ve written.

“It’s not easy being the good guy, you know? You have to remember things like trust, loyalty, morals and respect. You have to stand your ground and maintain your focus, even when all around you, others begin to fall. You must control your emotions and confront your fears. You must learn to read between the lines, to see past the masks of illusion and find the truth. You must learn from the past, no matter how ugly it is, so you can make the right decisions, not for yourself, but for the sake of a better future.
But above all, you must understand that life in general, runs on free will. There cannot be light without the darkness, there cannot be life without death, and there cannot be free will, without something to challenge it. Life is about choosing wisely, and having the freedom to do so without being judged, for it is not up to the people to judge one another. No, Death is the ultimate judge, and those who choose wisely the path they walk, should have no reason to fear him.”

Be safe. Be good. Stay positive.

Negative Words and Depression – Part One

Out of Sight and Out of Mind

255275263_265398562199854_8761098585425164998_nDo we ever realise how negative we are about ourselves? I know I tend to say things about myself without meaning to be negative, though I use negative words. Is it without thinking or is it ‘being set in your ways.’ I’m not entirely sure! I also get told off for pulling myself down, even though some of those who tell me, are ones who are negative to me… Weird.

One of the few words I don’t allow in the house, funnily enough, isn’t a swear word, it is STUPID! I disagree with people using this word about or too others. None of us are stupid. We’re all different and do things is ways we need to, to achieve what we want in life. Or do we. What many of us forget is our upbringing and how we at taught or told to react to certain situations. Looking at todays world I find most of those ways are now defunct. 

I was bought up as a young lady who wasn’t allowed to swear. Even if I said Bugger or Bloody Hell, my mother would tell me off and you know something, I was similar with my own children, however I tried not to use negative words. I’d ask them not to swear in the house, in my hearing etc. Worked well with the occasional slip up. It took years to get parenthood right, helping my girls through being bullied at school, protecting my son by sending him to Taekwondo so he could protect himself if need be.

My childhood, I thought it was amazing, it’s only in the last few years I’ve realised it wasn’t as good as I thought. I was bullied. I never really worked out why. My sister was one of those who bullied me. I know she doesn’t like me, though she loves me because blood is thicker than water… whatever!! My school friends often called for me and we’d walk to school together. My mother was a ‘Lollipop Lady’ also known as a crossing lady for the school. My sister used to brush my long hair one hundred times, often bringing me to tears, two of my friends recalled these times and say near exactly the same thing. My sister would do mean things and at one stage overstepped herself by trying to become friends with my friend due to having none of her own. I ended up with two black eyes and she ended up been kicked out of the house. My father wasn’t best please. These days my mother thinks I’m making it up, though my sister still remembers. Is it any wonder I moved as far away as I could.

Many of you may know I went back to help with my parents in 2017. The whole family went though my husband only lasted 11 months due to failure to get approved for the correct visa. He came back to NZ with our son. That is another story though… 

In 2012 I turned up at my sisters house the night before my dads birthday meal. None of my family knew I was in England. My niece hugged me, my brother in law did too. They called my sister who arrived home about an hour later. First words out of her mouth! “What are you doing here?” Right… rolls-eyes. I asked for a hug. “I don’t do hugs!” What the hell? What happened to my sister, I’m sure she wasn’t this bad before I left for New Zealand. Anyway, she organised another place setting for our dads birthday meal. I hid out until they were all sitting down at the restaurant then stepped out, walking across to them. My mother saw me first, looked at my dad and stood up crying. 
“How did you get here?” she hugged me hard as did my dad who looked a bit bewildered.
“On a plane,” I grinned.

You may ask why I’m telling you about 2012. Well it is to show the difference in reception when you can surprise someone and when they know you’re turning up. In 2017, I organised for myself and my daughters to fly to the UK. I set the dates so my parents would be home, booked the tickets only to find out my sister had given me the wrong days. She would be on holiday with them when we arrived and wouldn’t return for three days. I wasn’t pleased. I have no idea if it was deliberate, I have a feeling it was.

My parents finally arrived home from their holiday, meanwhile my anxiety wasn’t going to well. Usually my sister and her husband would drive up the driveway to drop our parents home. I was puzzled when they didn’t. All three of us stood at the open front door excitement shining on our faces. My parents hadn’t seen my daughters since 2003 (14 yrs) My parents walked up the drive and just metres before us mum looked at us and said. “So you’re here are you?”
I was shocked and hurt as we stepped to the side, letting them into their home. I don’t remember to much other than them heading back out for dinner to their favourite pub and not even inviting us. I still feel we were set up by my sister for my mother to say something like this after not seeing me in five years and her granddaughter since they were little. Yes, I cried. In fact over the next six weeks before my husband and son arrived, I cried more than I’ve cried for years. My depression and anxiety hit hard. One friend said I had PTSD. I do know I’d triggered my anxiety thanks to another abusive person in 2012. It was horrible. My mother wasn’t nice, my dad was confused with dementia. I felt unloved, unwanted and god knows what my girls thought. It was a sad time. Within two weeks, she wanted us out of their three bedroom home where they lived alone because it was confusing my dad. Messy me has to find somewhere else to live. We managed to stay until my husband and son arrived though she kept mentioning it to me every few days. During that six weeks, we went to stay with another friend for three weeks. It was good until I got back to my parents once again and within an hour my mother had me in tears yet again. This time over the death of my youngest daughter, their youngest grandchild. You see as a family, we celebrate her birthday by going out for a meal and I had wanted my parents to come with us. It wasn’t to be. 
“I lost three friend last week, the older you get the more you lose, you shouldn’t …etc.” She went on and on unaware of what she was doing to me… I crumbled, burst into tears. Of course, this is when my sister walked in and asked what was going on. “I don’t know, she just started crying,” said my mum…well along those lines.
My girls took me to my bedroom where I continued to cry for at least half an hour even though my husband called. Hiccups and sobs. He was furious. I think at that stage we should’ve gone home to New Zealand, though never mind. I learnt a lot about my family and how it had changed over the years in my absence. I knew I needed to change a lot of thing in my life to get back into a good space. A place I’ve not really been in since about 2015. They may believe in anxiety, though none really believed in depression. You’re one of us… You’re strong. Maybe I am in my own way, though I’m not strong until someone pushes me to far.

All the above brings me to having my daughters home and living with us. It has helped lift my depression though not my anxiety. During Covid we both got cats as Emotion Support Animals. I didn’t realise you could register them in New Zealand, this is something I will be doing. It takes away their pet status, which they never were anyway. 
Learning to live in the same unit, which is too small for us, has been a challenge to say the least. I love having my girls home, love the hugs and conversation, most of the time. It is the negative comments I dislike. I feel like I’m getting told off all the time with how they speak to me. As the youngest in my own family, I was quite loud, so I’d get heard. These days I’m loud because I am hearing impaired/deaf and I need new hearing aids (which I can’t afford and need funding for…still working on this). 
I’ve gotten used to using more positive words with everyone, though it seems those negative ones are returning. ‘Don’t do this or that or forget or you forgot.’ It’s annoying as anything and I’m not coping well. Mind I have other issues affecting the situation, from the outside which don’t help.
They are their fathers daughters and though we all love each other, we are also looking forward to having my son home for Christmas. It’ll be our first Christmas together since 2017 and we are going to have a blast with a house full of laughter.

Words not to use – Don’t, Can’t, Didn’t, Stupid…etc

Try to change how you say something to someone. Keep out the negative words, there are kinder ways to say things. If someone forgets to do something for you, remind them nicely or if you can do it yourself, then do so. We are all forgetful at times. Also check in on those facial expressions. Yeah they might make you laugh, though hurt the person you are looking at. If you know they have depression, anxiety, deafness or any other disability for that matter, then be KIND.  It’s daft to make a face or sigh, if someone asks you to repeat yourself. My hearing is null and void without my hearing aids. Another thing to avoid saying “I have bad hearing to!” when a person with aids is talking to you. After all, if you had bad hearing and needed hearing aids, you’d be wearing them. It is belittling when people say this and annoyingly unnecessary. Of course, their is due process too, though most of the people who’ve said things like this to me, still don’t wear hearing aids.

They’re HOME….

Our beautiful daughters are back home! They arrived on the 3rd of November and ended up in Quarantine in Christchurch, midway down the south Island (East Coast) which is about ten hours from where we’re living at present. The next thing was how to get them home? Fly again (not cheap though probably more efficient) or have a mini holiday, explore Christchurch (the girls have never been there before this) and then board the Coastal Train to Picton, the Ferry to Wellington and a Train back to Palmerston North. I started to book things and as per-usual, nothing goes to plan.

The story starts when I decide to go to Picton to visit a good friend and go house hunting. Yes, we’ve decided to move to the South Island, probably next year. The house we’re in at present isn’t big enough for all of us especially since I need an office and craft room (for my new business). The house I wanted to look at was no longer available, so with many thanks to Jamie, I went looking further afield and found another in Woodburne close to Blenheim. We didn’t get this one either. Stepping back, I ended up having a mini makeover (bought some clothes too) and some photos done by Jamie. She’s great. Such a wonderful lady and sure knows how to make a woman look and feel good about themselves.

      255275263_265398562199854_8761098585425164998_n

Picton is as beautiful as ever. Below is a photo of Waikawa Bay, about five minutes down the road from my friends house. Yes we went for a paddle. It rained for the next few days.

20211108_143504

A few more photos from Picton Harbour at Sunset, when the Ferry was coming in. Gorgeous.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

A few more photos from Raranga Beach, which is out towards Blenheim. It was gorgeous, though not advisable to walk over the pebble beach in bare feet…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

On the Friday before travelling down to Christchurch, I attended a ‘Wine o’clock’ neighbour evening. It was lovely to meet others and have a chat. It was late to bed that particular night. On Sunday Jamie and I left for Christchurch at five o’clock in the morning. My daughters were  being released from Quarantine earlier than we’d all expected. We finally picked them up just down from the hotel they were staying in, packed up the car and drove on to Top 10 Holiday Park. A nice place, though it seemed we were put on the second floor. I’d thought the place were all single story. Oops, I will remember to ask next time. Taking all the luggage up two flights of steps was a mission and a half.
Jamie decided to drive back to Picton. I’m sure she was exhausted by the time she got home. I worried about all the travelling she’d be doing over the following few days.

Back to the girls and what to do for the rest of Sunday and the next few days I’d booked for us to show the girls around Christchurch, not that I knew it overly well. Lucky me, had a few friends who lived in the area.

Mandy is a beautiful lady I’ve known since my children were little. We met in Rotorua, and our children went to school together for a while. It was Mandy who put me on the right track for my depression, something which I’ll always be grateful for. I’m not sure what would’ve happened if Mandy hadn’t noticed the mess I’d got myself into. It was also Mandy who sort of told me about the terror attack in 2019, though she didn’t know it at the time of the text. I was in the UK and turned the TV news on. My world was turned upside down in an instant. I am sure many never thought this would happen in New Zealand…well not twice and not for affecting so many people and taking so many lives. It is horrendous and I have no idea how some countries live with this kind of thing.
Oops… slid away again. Anyway. We caught up with Mandy, her eldest daughter and granddaughter on Monday. We bussed into the city having no idea where the main station was. The tickets were costly and no return tickets. They apparently had a transfer to another bus if used within two hours…sigh. Not good enough! This is a total negative in my opinion for Christchurch.
Mandy collected us from Cathedral Square. Picture of the girls below with the broken cathedral behind them. I’ve no idea what the sculpture is called. It looks like an ice cream cone with fancy lattice work.

20211115_094948

We went to Christchurch Museum. It was brilliant. So much to see and do. I just wish there were a few more sitting areas because my back is giving me grief right now. The one part I really loved was the Street showing old shops and what they sold. It reminded me of the Cobbles Streets in the York Museum in England. Memories are what we make them and seeing the early years of Christchurch was  a wonderful lesson in history. We also went to the children’s area to sit and chat while Mandy’s granddaughter crawled around, having cuddles, standing and sitting. Such an adorable child.  Moving on to the museum café we had morning tea. Ice chocolate is a favourite of mine right now along with cheese scones. Delicious. Next we went to the Riverside Market, which is mainly food shops. It is lovely, though I got sore again and I’d forgotten my walking stick leaving it in Mandy’s car. The girls wandered around while we waited for Mandy and family to arrive. By the time they did, we’d ordered lunch, so I could sit down and Mandy gave me my walking stick. I hate not been able to walk far without it. Chatting for a while in the sun was lovely. Mandy and family went home and we went to sit by the river for a while before returning to the bus station for another expensive ride home…ouch.

We had fish and chips for dinner, the first for the girls since their return to New Zealand. It was nice to see home cut chips (fries) for a change. That evening I went to book our train ride back to Picton only to find it fully books… weeks ahead. Now we were stuck. It was OMG time. How would we get home. I looked at flights and cringed, especially since there would be extra baggage. Managed to contact my husband and he was off work too so he could spend time with our girls. I asked him to find out if it was cheaper for him to drive and pick us up. It probably cost heaps more in the end. All this sorted and we had another day out to Northlands Mall to shop and meet another friend for lunch. We all had an amazing chat with Paula, such a fun lady to be around. It was at this stage we wondered if we should seriously start looking for a house in Christchurch instead of Blenheim. Then you remember the earthquakes and the terror attack that happened and wonder if you’re brave enough. Yeah, I know the whole of New Zealand is on several fault lines and we rock a lot… but seriously? Then I remember we used to live in Rotorua which is situated inside an old volcano caldera. LOL. Where we are at present is on a main fault line. Therefore do what you want and live where you’re going to be happy. South Island it is.

On Wednesday we stayed at the holiday park to relax. We’d spoken to my husband a few times, finding out how the cats were getting along. Hissy at times, chasing each other. Bonnie chased Nero so far, she got lost for a few hours, though found her way back… thank goodness. By the time we got home they are a bit more friendly and putting up with each other. Though from the expression on his face, he’s asking why we’ve got another cat in his house…LOL

20211121_134049

Wednesday is also the day my husband started to make his way down through New Zealand, across on the Ferry. Though the trip to down for him was good, with the Ferry and a few sleeps along the way, so he didn’t crash. We were worried at time due to lack of messages to work out where he was. Found him in reception at the holiday camp at 8 am. Took him to our lodge room, calling the girls who hurried down for cuddles and hugs… tears and all. The below photo is a few minutes after.

20211118_082042

My husband hadn’t seen the girls in three years. Our son is yet to catch up with them. I hadn’t seen them for two years and about eight months.

We packed up the car my husband had rented and set out for breakfast at Northlands Mall, breakfast was yummy, sorry no photos. Back in the car park we looked at booking the ferry. This is where stress, anxiety and pure frustration comes in. Palmerston North Hertz… I doubt we will ever hire from them again, they made a solvable issue harder, demanding more money because we couldn’t get a spot for it on the ferry. You’d think in these covid times, the ferry wouldn’t be fully booked. Sadly it was, though there was a good reason. Interislander had two ferry down. We were travelling with Blue Bridge and booked as foot passengers. The issue was still the car… and how to get back to Palmerston North. God, what a bloody mess. We ended up driving to Picton with a few stops, showing the girls the changes since the double earthquake in Kaikoura and the gorgeous ocean. Below are a few images of the coast line as we travelled up towards Picton.

Finally arriving in Picton I went to ask about getting our car on the ferry. The lady at the desk was amazing… No can do.  Why was she amazing? She put us on Standby and worked with us, her boss and a few other customers and they managed to get three more cars on the ferry including ours. I’ve never prayed so hard for such a length of time in ages. Fingers crossed, touched wood (my walking stick). Even now I sometimes wonder how this lady did her job so professionally and with such good humour. I need to send her some flowers… We also had dinner in Picton a lovely woodfire pizza. Caught up with Jamie (I’d left something at her house) and I can’t wait to get back south again in the New Year. House hunting will begin in earnest.

The photos below show the beginning of our Ferry crossing. The first three are of Picton Port, the fourth is Oxford Bear which is milk chocolate drink sitting on the windowsill and the rest of of Marlborough Sounds through a dirty ferry window on a cloudy day…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The Ferry ride was good. The thing about Blue Bridge Ferries is they have stabilizers and if you don’t know, The Cook Straits are (can be) one of the roughest to cross in the world. We had a good sailing. It was Isabelle’s first time on a ferry and she coped really well. My hubby slept some, the girls went exploring and I stayed. We sailed rather late and didn’t get into Wellington until twenty-three hundred hours. (11pm) Getting off takes about forty-five minutes at most and then it was set off home to Palmerston North. Another two hours or more. I think we got home at two-fifteen in the morning. Dumped the suitcases in the house, checked the cats and we all went to bed. Exhausted.  Hubby had to take the car back by nine in the morning…and sort out the mess they’d made of our car rental.

We’ve been home for just over a week now. Luckily my husband was on holiday and has ben able to spend some time with the girls each day. It’s so good to have them home and things are starting to settle, including the cats. We are still going to be moving South… Another Story.

The Excitement Grows

I’m not sure whether to sing, dance or shout with excitement. Our girls are coming home. I’ve not seen them since March 2019 and my husband and son, since November 2018. It’s going to be a huge Christmas this year. We can’t wait to hug them both, and I’m sure there will be plenty of tears involved.

The first to arrive will be Bonnie, their cat. At this time, I’d like to thank everyone who assisted with helping my daughters raise money to bring Bonnie home. She has helped both girls through their mental health issues over the last few years. A wonderful companion. It’s going to be fun to introduce her to Nero, my cat. We have to make arrangements to get Bonnie from Quarantine, ten days after she’s arrived. I’ve decided to go and collect her, so here is hoping the lockdown levels have dropped and I can get in and out of Auckland without any issues.

The girls arrive a week later and will have a two-week stay in a hotel. No idea which one yet since there are several around the country. Depending on where they have to stay, we will fly or drive and pick them up to bring them home.

Next steps! We’ll need to pack our house and move to another, because it is too small and we’re only allowed one cat and three adults. The hunt has started, though we have to be careful date wise due to parcels. We may have to wait until after Christmas. We shall see. I suppose it depends on the landlord as well. There are a few lovely houses out there, the rent is now prohibitive. One of the units beside us was $250 for a two-bedroom place, was recently refurnished and updated to healthy home standards and they are now charging $450. I’m totally horrified. My eldest daughter also mentioned the house we used to live in up to Sept 2017 has gone from $310 to $520. Some minor alterations. It was a three bedroom with a small garden. Nice house, though not up to standard when we lived there. It looks like we’ll be paying anything from $500 upwards for a decent place now…

Off track again…

Meanwhile, we can’t wait to see our daughters.

Forever Mine – Cy & Rylan Book Cover Reveal.

BOOK COVER REVEAL & PRE-ORDER FOREVER MINE – CY & RYLAN A WOLF SHIFTER ROMANCE

Plaisted Publishing

Finally… It’s arrived. My book cover for Cy & Rylan’s story of true love. A Wolf Shifter Romance with murder and mystery surrounding two lovers as they learn about each other. Looking at their differences, how to live together, how to grieve together. A unit and family. You can PRE-ORDER HERE

Publishing 30th June 2020

Created with GIMP

SYNOPSIS

Cy is an Alpha wolf-shifter, heir to his father’s pack. Cy is also gay, something his father won’t accept. In fact, he’s already lined up a female mate for him. A woman Cy hates.

Cy found his true mate ten years prior. He waited and watched, praying for salvation.

Rylan Jessop is from the other sides of the tracks. Not good enough for the elite of the pack. A university graduate due to a scholarship, Rylan returns home and accepts a date with Cy. They mate. At first, Rylan is horrified, he wanted other…

View original post 427 more words

My first LGBT Hater?

I’m not sure whether to be shocked, annoyed or angry.
I’m probably a mixture. 

Today I shared a post of me up and coming release on FB in a group I’ve been a member of since 2015. I’ve posted all sorts over the years. After all, I’m a multi-genre author. I write what the muse says.

This new release is the first in a collection of Novella’s called ‘FOREVER MINE’ It follows the journey of various couples. How they met! How they fell in love! Why they are hiding! Even a bit about who they are hiding from. It is true love. 

Here in New Zealand…just so you know.  Any human can marry any other human, your gender is irrelevant these days. LOVE IS LOVE…after all God made us all and loves us all.

One of the FB groups I posted to, I have been a member for five years. It’s been a good five years too, well until today when I found my membership PENDING. The only reason I saw this is because… First of all, there was an angry emoji on my post, I didn’t think much about it. I started to scroll through the group promos, then decided to edit my post to include the blurb/synopsis…whatever you call them. I clicked on the three dots… and nothing happened. This is when I noted I could like and share the post, but I couldn’t comment on it. It was like comments had been turned off, except they hadn’t.  I scrolled down to other posts and it was the same.  Went back to the top of the group to find my membership in PENDING…

Hang on… I’ve been a member for years, why would it suddenly be PENDING…It was like my membership had been revoked. Not happy. Conclusion…My post had been reported by the person who put an angry emoji on my post. It was the only thing I could think. I suppose I could be wrong.

I messaged the ADMIN…who I happen to know and we’ve chatted before… Still waiting for them to get back to me. If i end up losing this group because of one person. I will be peeved off (to be polite) I’ve been careful to make sure all my posts are relevant and follow FB guidelines and have avoided FB Jail so far as well. 

Does this person not like LGBT Romance or images of men hugging? Who knows. If I get an answer from Admin, I’ll update the post. Meanwhile, I’ll stay with the conclusions I have. Oh here is the image. Let me know what you think?

Forever Mine Teaser One

BLURB

Cy is an Alpha wolf-shifter, heir to his father’s pack. Cy is also gay, something his father won’t accept. In fact, he’s already lined up a female mate for him. A woman Cy hates.

Cy found his true mate ten years prior. He waited and watched, praying for salvation.

Rylan Jessop is from the other sides of the tracks. Not good enough for the elite of the pack. A university graduate due to a scholarship, Ryan returns home and accepts a date with Cy. They mate. At first, Rylan is horrified, he wanted other things from life.

Mated, he finds himself loving Cy and taking a stand against Cy’s father who is furious. Cy takes the lead and their adventure begins as they travel across America to Canada, learning to love and getting to know each other.

Will they get their ‘Happy Ever After’?

This is the first novella in a series called ‘Forever Mine’. Mature content
due to a new relationship. LGBT Romance.

Welcoming Nero to the Family

Nero joined us during lockdown – level three, in New Zealand. He was shy, quiet, jumpy and literally hid underneath the sofa in our lounge for close to twenty-four hours. After which he made a bee line for my darling husband. Here was I thinking…Typical bloody boy and their male counterparts.

Just so you know. We’ve never had a male cat before. He’s totally different. Our last cat was Sylvia. She was an outside cat and the Queen of the street. Sadly she went missing after following my husband to work. She was about eight years old. I hope she’s in a good home now. We never did find her. The other cat we had at the time was Matilda Norman. She was a mental health Hazzard from being shouted out for to many years. We adopted her when she was twelve. She calmed down a lot though still scratched the furniture. She also became more social and we could cuddle her. In her previous home, she’d bite you.

Anyway back to Nero. 

It was five a.m in the morning. My husband was getting up for work – yep he’s one of the ones who worked through the pandemic – He had breakfast and sat on the sofa to put his shoes on and along came Nero. He ended up having a tummy rub and I, blerry eyed watched on impressed. He still wasn’t ready for me, though came out to investigate during the day. Every time I moved he’d shot back under the sofa again and not come out. Then my son arrived in the lounge. He ended up having more tummy rubs. One peeved off mother. Nero even rolled side to side for my son. I started to wonder when he would get used to me.

He started to sleep on the mat by our kitchen, he’s stand up on his hide legs if someone was eating or something caught his attention. The first person he curled up with…My husband. I sulked… Maybe Nero was going to be my husband’s cat instead.

The days continued. He woke at five am most morning, ending up jumping on me, I presume to wake me to feed him. This means he started to curl up with me. I was finally winning the cuddle war.  A few days later I got one of those wand toy and a pet basket.  Hubby wasn’t amused with the basket because none of our girl cats ever used them. Nero… loved it and…triumphant…I have proof.  He also loves playing with the wand toy…of course it had to be a pink unicorn handing on the end…sadly it was the only one the shop had left’

Here are a few photos of our new family pet. The darling Nero…who ignores his name.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

Meet Sweet, Sexy Mirage

Special Agent Mirage

My latest teaser for Hidden Secrets

Come and meet sweet, sexy Mirage with her long purple hair, lush curves and killer heels not forgetting her phoenix tattoo.

Who is SHE

This was an interview I did of WORDS i did with Anita Kovacevic at her blog Anita’s Haven.  It was fun to do.  ENJOY

https://anitashaven.wordpress.com/

Who is SHE? – Claire Plaisted

Claire Plaisted, a New Zealand force of nature in the form of a mother, author, editor, publisher and book promoter, has agreed to take some time to do my no-question interview and say what my key words mean to her…

CLAIRE PLAISTED

DREAMS

What are dreams? Where do they come from and what do they mean? In the literal sense, I have no idea. Dream Therapy isn’t something I’ve touched in my life so far.

Going back to my childhood my dream was to marry, though not a red head…Oops.  After 25 years of marriage to my darling redhead, I found it was the best thing I ever did.  Of course, as your grow and change your dreams for your future change as well.  By the time I was at High School I wanted to be a computer tech. Computers were just starting to emerge to the public and at schools.  I loved them.  Uploading from a tape recorder, drawing houses with a set of numbers in a certain sequence.  It was cool.  Then came the disappointment.  I wasn’t allowed to take computer studies because it was just a fad… Another oops.  Never mind I plodded onwards.  Never really getting the career I wanted. It seems reality was going to wipe away my dreams.

Growing up we used to receive gifts from New Zealand. The country and culture intrigued me. I had a new dream. I wanted to have a holiday there. I got that dream in 1989 and for once, I never looked back. You see I fell in love and ended up living in New Zealand. I love this country, the culture, my family. It is an amazing place to be, though a tad expensive these days.

All I dream for now are grandchildren.  Going to be waiting a long time for them, so meanwhile I enjoy my friends’ photos of grandchildren on social media.

STRESS

Stress to me is a negative word which I try to remove from my life as much as possible.  Like a lot of people, I have depression.  Most of the time I’m lucky and it doesn’t rule my life, however there have been times then I have literally disappeared into a fog and taken several weeks to shift the stress away from me so I can recover.  With every negative which touches me, I try and find the positive within. I also suffer anxiety in various situations. To be totally honest my crashes generally arrive if or when several negative things happen at once.  The rest of the time I deal.  

RELEASE

Release a breath of satisfaction of surviving another day surrounded by those I love and those who love me.

SUPPORT

Support is something you give and can receive in life.  I am one of those people who likes to give support, to help people find the positives, to teach and show them what is possible.  I support my family with love as I do with my friends. I must admit I am not good as asking or taking support when I need.  I tend to think I am self-sufficient, when I know I’m not. I block it away and keep moving forward.

I love to see people grow and change. One lady in particular who I admire is Patty Fletcher.  She has changed so much in the last two years, growing and taking back her positive attitude. Building on what she knows and learning new things to better herself. Enjoying her life more and helping others where she can.  Her strength is amazing.

Support is also what I do with my marketing magazine, helping Indie Authors get their books out there.  I have no idea how widely shared the magazine is. I think it does need more support to make it grow.  The thought of how many I email it to who don’t open it at all…is to a degree sad.  I am hoping to find a way to gather more support and keep the light burning. I am amazed the magazine has been running for over a year. 

MODEL

With the world model usually comes those stick thin women who walk down the runway.  Well with me it was models of a different kind. Airfix Kits, be them figurines of kings and queens, ships, animals and aeroplanes. They brought us hours of JOY and family time.

ISSUE

Children or magazine.  They are different, though both have a life of their own.  I have three out of four beautiful children.  All grown up now, though my son is in his final year at high school.  All still live at home though perhaps not for much longer.  You see it is travel time, though I’ll cover that as part of JOURNEY.

Magazine – I issue a free marketing magazine out every month for Indie Authors and those who support them.  It helps to widen everyone’s social media presence.  It covers all genres and is family friendly. With ‘The Indie Publishing News’ magazine doing so well I have recently started one up for Erotic Indie Authors.  The first issue goes out this month.

JOURNEY

My journey in life not just in writing and business.  Life has a way of making you realise every moment is different and for a reason.  Your life is your journey to learn what you need to know, perhaps what you missed in a different life.  We are all born to a body, though our souls continue until they have learnt what they need to go to the next level.  We all live for a reason—it is finding the reason that is your journey.  Are you there yet?

Personally, I have no idea.  I had a wonderful childhood even though I didn’t have many friends.  I journeyed through been bullied from age 7 – 18.  How it affected me, how it affects different people—is what you need to learn to move forward.  Some don’t, which is very sad, though I believe when your journey is over, then it is over. 

I have had many different types of journeys in this life giving me a wide range of information, ideas and learning which I can share. These experiences have made me who I am today. Though I’d probably not like anyone seeing deep inside me. That stone wall won’t be toppling any time soon and when it does god help me.  

I have had several journeys with my children – from perfections to disabilities.  What a learning curve that was and still is today. As a mother I am over protective, which is probably why my children still live at home.  Four journeys through birth, several journeys though death and the best journey of all is with LOVE.  My husband is amazing. He is my world. Our journey in marriage and family has had many ups and downs, though we stay strong and committed to each other, looking forward to travelling and retirement.  Our next journey starts later this year or perhaps next year.  We shall see.

RELEVANCE

I suppose there is a lot of relevance in my life these days.  In the past walking in my ancestors’ footsteps became my family history research.  These days my writing of books moved my journey towards publishing and helping others.  Life interconnects in many different ways.

JOY

Joy is my marriage, the birth of my children and one day (hopefully) the birth of grandchildren.  Joy is family, respecting, helping, learning, teaching and so much more.  It is positive energy which I love to share. Joy is a hug and a smile. It is an acknowledgement of so much the human race is missing.  I wish JOY was the thing which made the most profit in this world and then perhaps we could be at peace with each other.

HAVEN 

My Haven is my sanctuary of peace and love of the positive life I try and lead.

Claire’s news

The latest book by me is Princess of the Earth.  It is an old story which I have republished after reworking it and making a new book cover and teasers.

It is about a young girl called Zoe who have her own journey of discovery with myths and legends which she only thought were stories.  With Fairies, Nymphs, Old Father Time, Gaia on the good side and Cronus, Trolls and Ogres on the bad side it is a battle to see who wins the day.


Links for Claire

www.plaistedpublishinghouse.com

www.claireplaisted.wordpress.com

www.billionaireromances.wordpress.com

www.twitter.com/rotosis1

www.facebook.com/groups/indiepublishingnews

www.facebook.com/groups/ghostlywritesanthology

www.facebook.com/girlieadventures

www.facebook.com/garrettinvestigationbureau

www.facebook.com/billionaireromances

Dear Claire, thank you so much for sharing this side of you with the readers! Happy journey!